They feel foolish at best, humiliated at worst, that they are unable to stop a behavior that is interfering with their desire to get where they want to go in life. This is not unlike the position many people find themselves in when they first become aware of their disordered eating. There are people on shore who see you struggle and yell, “Let go of the log!” But you are unable to do so because you have no confidence in your ability to make it to shore. The very thing that saved your life is now getting in the way of your getting where you want to go. You are unable to do so, however, because you are still clinging to the huge log with one arm as you stroke with the other. How ironic. There, in the distance, you see the riverbank and attempt to swim to shore. Clinging to the log you are swept downstream and eventually come to a place where the water is calm. The log keeps your head above water and saves your lift. By chance, along comes a huge log and you grab it and hold on tight. Your efforts to keep afloat are futile and you are drowning. You fall in and find yourself being tossed around in the rapids. Suddenly, the water-swollen bank gives way. Imagine yourself standing in the rain on the bank of a raging river. She needs to consider the possibility that the development of disordered eating patterns may not necessarily have been such a poor choice, given the limited options, resources, or coping skills she had available to her during stressful periods or times of crisis in her life.
It is something she has learned to use to help her deal with the emotional distress of being different or feeling misunderstood, unaccepted, or overwhelmed.
Her perspective must shift so that she can see this obsession not as some horrible character defect but, rather, as a simple, and much-needed protective mechanism she picked up along her journey through life. The recovering woman needs to recognize that her obsession with food and fat does not define who she is. Consider sharing how you were able to “let go of the log” in your recovery. Excerpt from Chapter 3, Eating in the Light of the Moon For a chance to win a signed copy of Eating in the Light of the Moon, post a comment below. (This is my absolute favorite section from her book!) For a chance to win a signed book, see information at the bottom of this post. Johnston’s wise words on my blog with you today. Johnston and I have presented together several times, and even better than that, we have become fast friends. This was another one of those moments in recovery when my life seemed to come full circle. She was actually asking me to co-present at a conference with her. As it turns out, she was, in fact, emailing me.
Johnston be emailing me? I had read her book, Eating in the Light of the Moon, years prior-when I was still struggling with my eating disorder-and found her words incredibly helpful. Over ten years ago, I received an email that I was sure to be spam.
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